Hesitation

We can live our lives hesitating,

Simmering in that vast space of comfort, lack of air, a cozy corner of a doorless room, covered in dust and ash, sunlight emerges from vague window pane, pain in my stomach, eyes blur.

We can plan and plan, notes filled for years, repeated sentiments that remain words, ideas, charts and graphs, life plans and dreams, idealized fantasies that taste sweet in thought, but lived in life, nought.

I bought paper and pens to masturbate over ideas that didn’t amount to fruitful bounty.

Self discovery doesn’t happen in one room.

When there are no doors, we must use the window.

A window is a new idea.

let the drawing of doors on solid walls be left for the child in us, who draws foreign lands and distant worlds, one’s we faintly remember pre-birth, a soaring mind of the universe, everywhere, any where.

 

Our doors are illusions, beliefs we tell ourselves, alone at home in the evenings, agonized in the pain of being alone, left ourselves in a dark room of doubt, self sinking, motionless.

 

We shall breathe, we shall love. Warmth calls us like the chirp of a sweet bird before sunrise. Our face will feel love, and we will no longer be lost in the dreams of doors that will not open, but seek home through the window.

 

We have our vices in this life, but what if our souls use the reincarnation into a physical life as a vice that we keep returning to, and during the journey of each one, we feel we lose connection, have gone too deep, and lost in the question…why am I doing this?

 

Mental fragmentation can work wonders. and nightmares. The key is to work with good personalities, aspects of human collective consciousness.

Create your coach, your supportive friend, your moral voice, your guiding voice, your support team, your fueling passion, your respect, your joy, your laughter.

We are all branches of the tree, and blossom our own fruit.

What is the fruit that you are blossoming in this world?

What are your days like? What words float through your skies, your atmosphere? What emotions live around you? How is your world?

It is a deeply meditative practice to be present, and remain present.

That is meditation, rather.

Our lives are like waterfalls, and we can easily get lost in it by the continual flow of its being.

Let us be constantly aware of the water flowing, continually, in this magical current of the present.

So next time you’re in hesitation,

find what flows

keep moving

every direction you go brings growth

keep flowing, and find the best flows

find the windows

and don’t let your soul get stuck in one room

one mental room

one physical room

let your soul soar

Let it fly out the window

Float

And Flow

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