Arise, Trojan Style

 

Seemingly instantaneous,

my rules are broken, my castles shatter

and I am back into the freedom of a vice-full experience

The walls we use for discipline and structure also become our barriers, the bars to the prison cells we hold ourselves in, ideologically, and in effect, actuality.

 

I became my own trojan horse

infiltrated my own kingdom

and fucked myself royally.

 

Everything I said I wouldn’t do again

I do again.

 

I slide into old habits like a forbidden skin

apples with bite marks become fresh again

hides and leathers bring me to ride the pleasures

 

whiskey coats my throat and makes docile

the locks that restrain my demon

a black snake had evolved in form

in power

and regression doesn’t bring it on,

a newfound repetition,

like incantations of ancient scribes

call upon the beast to arise.

 

I am only battling against myself.

I’ve wrote about this once, in a poem, something about winning and losing, when I battle myself.

Memory fades like the pages of my life kept stacked in a pile.

Not sure who will read them when I’m gone,

but they are there.

 

There is a magic in a solitary practice.

 

I used to write as a form of “waving the white flag” of surrender.

“Love, come to me, find me, use me”.

 

Now I’m calling out for myself.

If i defeat myself,

I might win something

A tainted victory

Gold medals still shine,

even if the antagonist was a creation of mine.

 

Maybe we all create our own battles

merely to give ourselves something to overcome.

 

We cannot accept a life of ease.

We feel alive in the heat of struggle,

in the throws of war,

in the despair of loss and longings of love.

 

If that’s the case,

don’t be shy with me.

Because my self-fabricated enemies will die with me.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s